101
by Moment For Life
Summary: A little something to coincide with the 101st anniversary of the sinking. Short story. Complete.


**Hii, everyone. I wrote this to coincide with the 101st anniversary of the Titanic sinking but due to my computer not working I never had the chance until now. Please let me know what you think. :)**

* * *

**101**

I am tired of living. My bones ache far beyond comprehension. But yet now as I make my way to the stern of yet another ship, I move slowly, my hands shaking. I get the sense of déjà vu, not back to that night eighty six years ago but to every ship I had boarded since Titanic. You would have thought that the disaster would have suppressed my appetite for travel but instead it had ignited it. It was a flame which would burn forever, even now it was still alight within and Jack Dawson had lit that flame.

I had travelled for most of my life. I travelled around America when I was eighteen, settling in Santa Monica for just six months. That was where I had walked on the beach, feeling Jack's presence alongside me the entire time. His hands were around my waist, in my hair and his gentle touch upon my cheeks. My heart had beat like crazy, like it had the day we met. Those feelings remained inside until this day.

I had travelled to Europe in 1914 just before the war had broken out. It had been my first voyage since Titanic. I had breathed through my nerves and left all negative thoughts behind. That night I had made my way to the stern feeling Jack with me the entire time. I had taken time to thank him for his support, love and guidance, for helping me through daily struggles and for saving my life. I spent a year and so many months splitting my time between each country of Europe, taking a little piece with me every time I moved. The motto of making life count still firmly within me, I had collected silly little things which I could take with me when I travelled, such as a small ornament or a postcard, anything I could look back on with fond memories. Almost every day I found myself in a different town or city, working odd jobs to have money. By that time, I returned home to New York. Europe was at war and talks of America joining were heard through whispers. That voyage home was spent in fear of German U boats torpedoing the ship, but Jack was there to sooth me once again.

A breeze crossed my face and fetched my thoughts back to the present. I stared ahead into complete blackness. The white handrail loomed ahead. I clutched my hand to my chest. Yes, my heart was flying. I had been eighty five years old the last time I had been at the stern of a ship and I had walked with much more ease. Of course, I hadn't been so young then but I had much better health than I had now. My 101st birthday is in three weeks but I know I won't be celebrating. I have no joy left within after 100 birthdays they just become another number. From the ages of eighteen and twenty four I had celebrated each year alone, and then I met my husband. He was tall, blonde with sparkling brown eyes; the sadness hiding behind them had been obvious from day one. There had been something about him which had drawn me to him. His wife had died three years before during childbirth and he hadn't been looking for another, just like I hadn't. But we were two lost souls in a way and those two souls joined as one just four months after we had met. Our first boy Harry followed nine months later and Michael came along three years and a day after we met. We had spoke of more children but they never came along but we had two boys who were energetic, full of life and who loved their childhood. They kept us busy.

I saw elements of Jack flash in my husband but they also opposites. I never spoke of Jack to my husband nor of my husband to Jack in those moments when I sat alone and thought of him. We settled in Cedar Rapids for eight years before his death aged just thirty nine. A heart attack had taken him suddenly but peacefully in his sleep. After spending the first week wondering what I had done to deserve to lose the two men I had loved in my life I then thought of the children. They were just thirteen and ten, too young to understand what death was. I chose there and then to dedicate my life to raising the boys. I instilled a sense of fun into their lives and they flourished.

On a night out dancing when I was forty one, I met a man. He was forty four and took a shining to me. He was an Englishman with a Catholic wife whom he was unable to divorce. Together, they had a grown up son who lived with his mother. He told me he never wanted more children, his son was hard work and he struggled to cope with one child. I hadn't planned to meet another man, but I hadn't expected to either. For three months he showered me with love and affection before returning to England to care for his elderly mother. We both knew that our affair would be short lived but that didn't stop us falling in love. We never uttered those words but it was inevitable and eight months later I gave birth to our daughter Emily. I thought of writing to tell him but the last letter I received from him was four months after he left stating that he and his wife were attempting to work through their marriage, but he thanked me for showing him love for the first time in years. I had disposed of the letter right away, taking only my cherished daughter into the next chapter of my life.

I opened my eyes as I reached the rail. My eyes weren't what they used to be. I had to squint to distinguish the line between ocean started and the sky ended. Over 12 thousand feet beneath where I was stood lays the Titanic. It was almost surreal knowing that as a seventeen year old girl, I and Jack had been in this very spot. I could still feel his presence, the same as I had all of these years. My heart pounded as I glanced up at the sky, I felt at peace for the first time in years. It had taken some courage to come here to face the past but my time on this Earth was almost at an end. I had outlived my three children; each of their deaths killed me inside a little bit more. My only granddaughter Lizzie was the light of my life. My sons had been very career driven, both married with only one grandson produced. Neil lived in New York with his wife and four children, he visited as often as he could but I understood life with four children and a great career was hard to juggle. Lizzie was all I had left, but she would soon find her own path to go down as I did.

A shooting star shot overhead. A bright and brilliant reminded of my Jack. He knew I was coming. I had kept my promise.

My hand still shook as I slowly unwrapped my fingers from around something. It was heavier than I remembered but I hadn't looked at it in ten years or so. It had been a secret only I knew about until this evening. As I closed my eyes once again, I was back on the deck of the Carpathia eighty six years previous. The Statue of Liberty stood tall and proud before me, I took her as a sign of my freedom. When prompted I had given my name as Rose Dawson. Rose Dewitt Bukater had died with the Titanic. It was when I plunged my hand into my pocket that these thoughts had been interrupted by a heavy object, I had pulled it out stunned. The Heart of The Ocean sat in the palm of my hand, the chain wrapped around my fingers.

I smiled recalling the moment. It still glittered the way it did years ago but now it held less meaning. I thought of it as a reminder of my love but over the years I learned I never needed one for he was with me the entire time. I opened my palm out flat as I leaned over the rail. Brock was turning the Titanic wreck upside down for the jewel, I know of its value. In those early years I had struggled with money, yet I was sat on something worth millions. I hadn't been a stupid young girl, I knew that selling that diamond would have led Cal right back to me. It held only sentimental value. The object had been like a dog collar and as I looked at it now I still feel as though I have seen it for the first time, it was breathtaking, the jewel the colours of Jack's eyes.

It was a calm night just as it had been all those years before. The stars so brilliant above just as they had been back then. I felt the diamond mangled between my fingers. Then suddenly, I dropped it. It plopped into the ocean and I watched as it swirled around making its way to the bottom of the sea where it belonged. A huge weight seemed to lift from my body. This whole day had given me closure and satisfaction I never thought I would feel. I closed my eyes as a breeze sent my curls flying around and for a brief moment I felt like a young girl again. All of those aches and pains I had collected over the years seemed to vanish. Jack's smiling face came into my mind and that when I knew it. I was going home.


End file.
